Author Archives: jazzhandsmom06

So…I think this is the first time I’ve written in almost a year. Lol This year has been…insane and quiet, all at the same time. I have a lot to say…but, possibly for the first time in my life, I struggle finding the words. Don’t get me wrong…I have words…some of them four letters inContinue reading “No Words Needed”

I know I don’t write much these days. This year has just been…a lot. A lot of work. A lot of fear. A lot of stress. Watching the love of my life battle cancer…battling my own health issues…working nonstop… And, on top of it…I’ve finally really been digging in and dealing with my trauma andContinue reading “.”

I’ll flat out say it. Christianity and Karaoke are the same. There. Are you mad? Are you confused? Are you intrigued? Good. Yesterday a man walked into church. He had an afro that a 70s movie character would have been proud of. His clothes were purposely shredded. His earring dangled wildly from his ear, asContinue reading “Christianity and Karaoke”

Over the past week, as I’ve begun to see actual improvement from my heart surgery…and I’ve started to feel more alive…more ME…I’ve realized that certain losses hurt much less when I don’t count myself amongst the lost. That probably sounds ridiculously obvious, but, when you’ve consistently lost in life, it may be one of theContinue reading “I’m Ready…To Live Again”

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Quite a long while. To be honest, I’ve been hiding. This year has been less than kind to us. Things were looking up at the end of last year. I was finally feeling like everything I had lost over the year + before that…I was healing fromContinue reading “I Make No Apologies, This Is Me.”

I’ve been trying to find words for this feeling I’ve been having this month. (Weird for me, I know.) But I feel like I’ve finally got it right this morning. This is going to be long, but it’s good. A little bit back, I asked everyone to tell me what they had gained in 2022Continue reading “The Anti Resolution”

PREFACE TO SAY: There’s some very real shit in her, BUT it’s all leading to a rather positive thing…so, keep reading if you will. 😉 Like most people who read my blog, I think A LOT about what people think of me and who I am. Too much. It’s a problem for all of us.Continue reading “Becoming (Better)”

So. Bella and I had counseling today. During said counseling, Bella and I both talked a bit about our shared issue of…honestly…pushing people away because we expect them to leave anyway. Bella does this by making sure they think she’s a bitch before they can decide she’s one on her own. I do this byContinue reading “A Very Jazzy Epiphany”

33 years ago today, I basically died. 🤷‍♀️ It sounds dramatic, but it’s a huge step that I can say that now. For YEARS people tried telling me I have PTSD. I would argue vociferously. “You have to have been afraid you were going to die.” It took the executive director of a missing children’sContinue reading “My Deathiversary”

Today’s Epiphany: Rock Bottom is actually beautiful and filled with unexpected blessings. What brought this on? Well, I’ll tell you. My heart has been in really bad shape again for a couple of weeks. This morning I had a bit of a meltdown. I admitted to one of my closest friends that I’m afraid. OfContinue reading “The Beauty at Rock Bottom”