Preface this to say, I’m not feeling any kind of way tonight. I’m a-ok, b-ok, etc. I’ve just been meaning to get this thought down for awhile now. So, one of the wonders of PTSD is flashbacks. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with those. Or…so I always thought. Like most people, I always assumedContinue reading “Flashback”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Dear Aaron,
I think you’d be proud of me. I’ve been finding my way back to life lately. Bella and I took that trip to Warped and…it kind of pushed me out of my fear. (I should probably mention that I found myself talking about you a lot that weekend. Like I was trying to bring youContinue reading “Dear Aaron,”
Are You A Bridge or A River?
Ok, first…you guys…I just broke chat gpt. I asked it to create an image of Jesus walking across a raging river. Next to Jesus should be a bridge also crossing the river. It couldn’t even process. It just kept spinning and spinning and spinning. Yep. I broke chat gpt. I’m kind of stupid proud ofContinue reading “Are You A Bridge or A River?”
Hope
Today was a day of hope. It’s been almost 6 months since I felt any real urge to be anywhere but my bed. Last night, for the first time since Aaron passed, I started having this feeling of, “Ok, enough is enough. Aaron would be ashamed of me for giving up on life.” This morning,Continue reading “Hope”
What I Lack In Hearing and Social Skills…I Make Up For In Communication
Let me preface this blog. I wrote a different blog earlier. That blog is now deleted at my daughter’s, rather reasonable, demand. You’ll see why. I, halfway jokingly, often say that I don’t have a passive-aggressive bone in my body. All my bones are aggressive. 😂 But, truly, I believe that communication can save mostContinue reading “What I Lack In Hearing and Social Skills…I Make Up For In Communication”
My Lack of Faith Disturbs Me
OK. Here’s the honest truth about my struggles for the last 8 days. It has…made me question things that I’ve never questioned before, and this is hard to admit. I have ALWAYS had faith in God. I have ALWAYS had faith that every bad thing that he allowed was for a reason. The reason forContinue reading “My Lack of Faith Disturbs Me”
Out of Order: Embracing Solitude for Peace
I deactivated my Facebook profile again. I used to do this in a very unhealthy manner. I told myself that I was doing it to control my anxiety. Which is true…I did. But, I’m realizing that I also hoped that people would notice I was gone and care. (The anxious spiral: No one cares. MustContinue reading “Out of Order: Embracing Solitude for Peace”
The Plan
It’s been a rough week. In the middle of a rough year. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been triggered to the point that I’m spiraling a bit. But, at the same time, I’m filled with hope as I remember my belief that… My voice is a gift that God gave me, toContinue reading “The Plan”
Little Things
I had a dream the other night that you were still alive. You told me you’d woken up right after I left the hospital, and it turned out they were wrong and you were all better. And then I woke up. And reality hit. Today I put away laundry…I went to hang your towel…and itContinue reading “Little Things”
Empty Rocking Chairs and a Shattered Heart
They said that it would comeAt the time I’d least forseeThat if I just stopped lookingI’d find the heart meant for meI never could believeI never did expectThat in one person I’d findLove, honor and respectBut there you were waitingWith the love I never thought I’d find”You had to have made each other in labs”OurContinue reading “Empty Rocking Chairs and a Shattered Heart”
*Jazz Hands* Mom 