Author Archives: jazzhandsmom06

First World Runner Problem: I got REAL mad at my Garmin today. Like BIG MAD. No, it wasn’t broken. No, the battery didn’t die. No, it didn’t track my miles wrong. It was just flat out mean to me. *stomp foot brattily* *shut up, WordPress, brattily is a word if I say it’s a word*Continue reading “Eff You, Garmin”

So. This is how it ends. With a teenaged girl standing over my body…frantically mashing… 444. 44-2-8-33. 999-666-88. Over and over and over. While laughing maniacally and rocking back and forth like a lunatic rocking horse. Or, you know…that’s how I imagine this playing out when I get home with her new prepaid flip phoneContinue reading “The Final Momoir”

You guys…let me tell you about the horribly awkward moment that happened to me yesterday. This random guy…asked me out to dinner…on a county facebook thread…with 1,000 comments…in front of all of those local people… In case you were wondering, Facebook doesn’t have a good “deer in headlights” gif. I tried to be polite andContinue reading “Until I Trust Myself Again”

I’ve heard it said that the hardest part of grief isn’t the beginning. At the beginning of the situation that you grieve you are surrounded with love and well wishes. You are in the forefront of everyone’s minds as they try to help you through. No…the hardest part of grief is when people have toContinue reading “Don’t Even Know What To Name This…”

I hate the word Can’t. Seriously, I hate it SO MUCH. We (usually) use the word “can’t” as an excuse. I know I sure used to. I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease at 23 years old. That’s when the can’ts *really* began. “You can’t exercise.” <—–Oh no…I have to be sedentary? Shucks. “You can’t haveContinue reading “CAN’T”

I have always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. It is a comfort to me to know that all of the deep valleys in life have also brought me to my highest peaks. And yet…we always forget that in the moment as we are trapped in circumstances. I was reminded LOUDLYContinue reading “A’ight, God. I Get It Now.”

Yesterday I stopped being a bitch. You think I’m joking, but I’m not. I’ve been a fairly raging bitch since the end of last year. Why? Because it felt like everything was suddenly spiraling out of control. One thing after another after another after…well, you get it. One of my greatest fears is the lossContinue reading “What Are You Afraid Of?”

Hi, my name is Sheri…and I’m “Way too excited about my new toilets” years old. *sigh* When did this happen?? This morning, as I sat there excitedly looking at my beautiful brand new toilets that one of my best friends and her husband installed yesterday…as I sat there thinking, “None of them are broken orContinue reading “And, Just Like That, I’m The (Least Grown Up Ever) Adult…”

I’ve been thinking about broken hearts. First things first, let’s be real…we’ve all had our hearts broken and we’ve all probably broken someone’s heart. It’s just part of life. And man does it hurt when it happens. BUT, as I’m pondering this today, I have a new view on broken hearts and their pain. WhatContinue reading “Thank You For Breaking My Heart”

The perfect date. We all have one (hopefully). That date you look back on and think, “Why can’t they all be like that?”. Maybe it was a beautiful restaurant…dressing up and being treated like royalty. Orrrr…maybe you’re like me and it involved a giant cow. 🤷‍♀️ Many many (…MANY…) years ago, a fresh, innocent (stopContinue reading “The Perfect Date Still Moooooves Me”