OK. Here’s the honest truth about my struggles for the last 8 days. It has…made me question things that I’ve never questioned before, and this is hard to admit. I have ALWAYS had faith in God. I have ALWAYS had faith that every bad thing that he allowed was for a reason. The reason forContinue reading “My Lack of Faith Disturbs Me”
Author Archives: jazzhandsmom06
Today’s The Day
This is a big day for me in my grief journey. I haven’t left the house a whole lot, other than work, since Aaron passed almost 6 months ago. Today…not only am I deciding to leave the house when no one is making me…I’m finally getting the chance to fulfill one of Aaron’s wishes. AaronContinue reading “Today’s The Day”
Out of Order: Embracing Solitude for Peace
I deactivated my Facebook profile again. I used to do this in a very unhealthy manner. I told myself that I was doing it to control my anxiety. Which is true…I did. But, I’m realizing that I also hoped that people would notice I was gone and care. (The anxious spiral: No one cares. MustContinue reading “Out of Order: Embracing Solitude for Peace”
The Plan
It’s been a rough week. In the middle of a rough year. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been triggered to the point that I’m spiraling a bit. But, at the same time, I’m filled with hope as I remember my belief that… My voice is a gift that God gave me, toContinue reading “The Plan”
Little Things
I had a dream the other night that you were still alive. You told me you’d woken up right after I left the hospital, and it turned out they were wrong and you were all better. And then I woke up. And reality hit. Today I put away laundry…I went to hang your towel…and itContinue reading “Little Things”
Empty Rocking Chairs and a Shattered Heart
They said that it would comeAt the time I’d least forseeThat if I just stopped lookingI’d find the heart meant for meI never could believeI never did expectThat in one person I’d findLove, honor and respectBut there you were waitingWith the love I never thought I’d find”You had to have made each other in labs”OurContinue reading “Empty Rocking Chairs and a Shattered Heart”
Aaron Part 1 – Wicket Earp
Fair Warning to those who read my blog. My boyfriend passed away last week, so I foresee that I will be writing mostly about him for the foreseeable future. To be blunt, I wouldn’t wish this experience on my worst enemy. Anyway, Part One of my wish to share how amazing he was with theContinue reading “Aaron Part 1 – Wicket Earp”
Drama Queen
Dear Future Sheri, Your boyfriend died 2.5 days ago. 2.5 days ago. And, yet, I just caught you lambasting yourself for being a drama queen and not getting up to clean the house. Has it been long enough for you to see the idiocy of this? Cause we’re going to talk about this later whenContinue reading “Drama Queen”
Shame Shame Shame
Randomness: I’ve been listening to a lot of Brene Brown’s shame research lately. It’s not the first time, but it’s hitting me differently now, as I work on my past. When I read her works before, my instant reaction was, “I don’t feel shame. I don’t believe in regrets, so how can I claim shame.Continue reading “Shame Shame Shame”
Feelings
If you had asked me…well…basically…ever, I would have told you that my greatest weakness is that I have too many feelings. I’ve heard it my whole life. “You’re too sensitive.” “You feel too much.” “You have too many feelings.” “You’re kind of a lot…” I’ve heard it all. And I knew…the level of feelings thatContinue reading “Feelings”
*Jazz Hands* Mom 