Until I Trust Myself Again

You guys…let me tell you about the horribly awkward moment that happened to me yesterday. This random guy…asked me out to dinner…on a county facebook thread…with 1,000 comments…in front of all of those local people…

In case you were wondering, Facebook doesn’t have a good “deer in headlights” gif.

I tried to be polite and kind…But, my response (below) actually kept me thinking last night about how true it really is. Lol

I am my favorite butt of my own jokes. I *constantly* make jokes about my spinsterhood. But let’s be real. No one HAS to be single these days.

Being single is a choice we make.

Every time someone asks us out and we say no. Every time we swipe left for some ridiculous reason because our heart just really isn’t in it. Every time we choose to stay home instead of going somewhere where we might actually meet someone.

It’s a choice. And…I’m good with my choice.

I don’t want to be single forever.

I’m good at relationships. But, with a few exceptions, I’ve been very bad at choosing who to have them with. I’m realizing that the reason I keep saying “no” is because I still don’t trust myself. I don’t trust myself to choose someone who will choose me every day as I choose them every day.

So…I make that choice. I make Bella and work and school and working out and friends…and everything else under the sun…a priority.

Until I learn to trust myself again.

And until then…I will continue making jokes at my own expense (because they’re HIGHLARIOUS!!) and I will be happy.

Because I will always choose happiness. ❤