Author Archives: jazzhandsmom06

Someone I love very much passed away a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t been ready to talk about my grief…I’m still not, tbh. But what I *am* ready to talk about is how important and wonderful he truly was. Because…I’m ashamed that I never told him this while he was alive…and I think weContinue reading “The First To See ME”

So…therapy homework…I’m supposed to compile a list of my personality traits, good and bad. Not excited about this. Not because it’s uncomfortable to list what’s wrong with me. The opposite, in fact. I’m highly uncomfortable trying to quantify what’s positive about me. Why? Am I afraid there’s nothing good about me? Hell no. I thinkContinue reading “The List”

I’ve been doing a lot of internal work lately. Truly internal. It’s hard. I’m not going to lie. But…what I’ve come to realize…FINALLY…is that MY feelings are MY problem. Not that people don’t care. They do. But my feelings aren’t something anyone else has any control over…only I do. And I have to feel them andContinue reading “My Serenity Prayer”

So…I think this is the first time I’ve written in almost a year. Lol This year has been…insane and quiet, all at the same time. I have a lot to say…but, possibly for the first time in my life, I struggle finding the words. Don’t get me wrong…I have words…some of them four letters inContinue reading “No Words Needed”

I know I don’t write much these days. This year has just been…a lot. A lot of work. A lot of fear. A lot of stress. Watching the love of my life battle cancer…battling my own health issues…working nonstop… And, on top of it…I’ve finally really been digging in and dealing with my trauma andContinue reading “.”

I’ll flat out say it. Christianity and Karaoke are the same. There. Are you mad? Are you confused? Are you intrigued? Good. Yesterday a man walked into church. He had an afro that a 70s movie character would have been proud of. His clothes were purposely shredded. His earring dangled wildly from his ear, asContinue reading “Christianity and Karaoke”

Over the past week, as I’ve begun to see actual improvement from my heart surgery…and I’ve started to feel more alive…more ME…I’ve realized that certain losses hurt much less when I don’t count myself amongst the lost. That probably sounds ridiculously obvious, but, when you’ve consistently lost in life, it may be one of theContinue reading “I’m Ready…To Live Again”

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Quite a long while. To be honest, I’ve been hiding. This year has been less than kind to us. Things were looking up at the end of last year. I was finally feeling like everything I had lost over the year + before that…I was healing fromContinue reading “I Make No Apologies, This Is Me.”

I’ve been trying to find words for this feeling I’ve been having this month. (Weird for me, I know.) But I feel like I’ve finally got it right this morning. This is going to be long, but it’s good. A little bit back, I asked everyone to tell me what they had gained in 2022Continue reading “The Anti Resolution”

PREFACE TO SAY: There’s some very real shit in her, BUT it’s all leading to a rather positive thing…so, keep reading if you will. 😉 Like most people who read my blog, I think A LOT about what people think of me and who I am. Too much. It’s a problem for all of us.Continue reading “Becoming (Better)”