My Reason Why

A very, very…very, very…VERY long time ago (shut up, I’m old!), there was a little 10 year old girl. She hadn’t had a very exceptional life up to that point…positively or negatively. She had a daddy who the world revolved around, so she was mostly able to ignore the fact that her mother didn’t really want her. She had an older brother who picked on her mercilessly…and a younger brother to whom she passed on that favor. She loved to read…she loved music and dreamed of being a concert pianist one day…she had so much love inside of her to give, she would often find herself sitting on her hands at school because she knew she couldn’t just get up and hug people. She had friends…she had bullies…neither left school with her as she wasn’t allowed friends at home…she had no telephone…she had no real life past home, but she didn’t know that was weird. She was…in short…a reasonably happy child so long as she had books and music to hide in when things got bad.

And then…one night…it was all taken away. In the blink of an eye…the police were there…so, so many police. Her daddy tried to run as they drove up to a house covered in flashing blue…but he knew it was done. He pulled over about a mile down that dark Georgia road…turned around….and told the little girl, “I’m not your father”. (Side note: Holy shit, I’m the anti Luke!!) Anyways…) The police caught up. Her daddy and mother were put in cop cars as the police tried to explain that she and her older brother had been kidnapped…all while her mother screamed, “He’s in the mafia! He bought off a judge! He’s going to kill you!!” And then…they were gone. She and her brothers were sent to the police station. And then…her little brother was gone.  They tried to explain to her that her name was not her real name…and her identity was gone. A few days later a strange man came and was introduced as her real father. He took them to their school to get their records…and then her school and friends were gone. He took them to an airport to go “home”…and then the only world she’d ever known was gone. She sat on that plane…her whole life gone in a matter of days…she had already figured out she was supposed to be grateful and happy…so she played her part…but she was gone.

Fast Forward about 17 years…the little girl has grown up….she’s married…she’s moved on…even if she was never really able to move on on the inside…This grown version of the little girl found herself on a plane once more.

As she sits on this plane, with her husband on one side…and an empty seat on the other…a little girl about 10 years old gets on the plane. The little girl is sobbing…she is followed by a man…in handcuffs…restrained by the police…and a flight attendant. The little girl, sobbing all the while, is saying goodbye to the man and begging him not to go…and then he’s gone. Before this little girl took the empty seat next to the now grown woman…the woman asked the flight attendant if the little girl was ok. The flight attendant (more than happily, which the woman contacted the airline about later) didn’t just say yes or no…she went into full detail. “Oh…no…that was her dad…he’s going to jail for a long time…so they let them say goodbye….but she’s flying to Georgia now to be with her mom whom she’s never met.”

You guys…this story probably sounds made up. It should be. This shouldn’t be the world we live in…and yet… 🤷‍♀️

The woman knew that…out of all the seats either of them could have been in… she had been placed next to this little girl because she was needed…she was needed to be the person she’d needed those many, many years before. She knew she couldn’t take away the pain that was coming to this little girl…but she could be her friend for the next few hours. She saw the little had a doll, so she asked her the dolls name. Tearfully, the little girl talked about her doll…she pulled out more dolls at the woman’s request…and, for a few hours (next to a thoroughly ignored husband lol) the woman and the little girl played and laughed and managed to find some joy amidst the pain. By the time the plane landed, the little girl was laughing and happy…even if only for a few blessed moments.

And the woman? She learned a valuable lesson that day.

Everything…ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING…happens for a reason.

She was where she was that day because her past was what was needed. She could wallow in the pain of what had happened to the little girl still crying inside of her…or she could own its purpose…and help others through her own experiences.

This…is my reason.

This is why I STILL believe that everything happens for a reason…no matter how long it takes to find it…no matter how much I wallow before I get there (I AM human, after all lol).

This is why I share.

This is why I write.

At times, I feel like I’m speaking into a vacuum. At times, my openness is seen as “attention seeking and dramatic”. At times I almost quit as I fear being annoying or misunderstood.

And then…someone will tell me that my openness helped them face something they’d been avoiding…someone will tell me that I’ve given them strength…someone will tell me that my words made them realize they’re not alone…someone will tell me that I made a difference for them.

Maybe it’s naive…this belief that everything has a purpose…that God puts us through tribulations for a reason that will not become clear until much later…when you’re sitting on a plane next to your inner child…when your words give someone a reason to keep going.

Yes…maybe it is naive…maybe it can be “annoying”…maybe not forgetting where I’ve come from can make me seem negative.

I don’t care.

This is my reason why.