Call Me Bacon

Not gonna lie…that image was a labor of love…or obsession…turns out there’s not an online generator to spell words out using bacon strips. Someone should get on that.

Also, I am now really hungry.

But it also wound up being the perfect segue into what I wanted to write about today.

You know that saying, “Going in whole hog”? Yeah…pretty sure there’s a picture of me next to that saying in some online dictionary. I do everything to extremes…some might say obsessively.

I’ve always felt like it was my responsibility to always do better…be better…make the world better. <—– That part…I’ve had three firm beliefs in my life. 1. If you know of a way to make the world better and you don’t…then you’re part of the problem. 2. Since I’ve seen so much of the bad in the world, it’s my responsibility to put that much good back into it. 3. There is nothing right about putting less than your all into anything you try to do.

So…everything I do…WHOLE HOG. I didn’t just go back to school, I had to take the school by storm. I don’t just do my job at work, I have to be the person consistently told things like, “You always put in 110%” and “You can’t expect others to be like you…most people won’t put in what you do.”. Join an organization? Why just join? Let me help make it better!

Everything I do is to the extreme.

I always thought that going Whole Hog was a good thing.

But…I don’t want to be the whole hog anymore. I’m realizing that I don’t have to be…and that people only expect so much out of me because I’ve shown them that they always can. I’ve shown them that I’ll do what others don’t want to. I’ve shown them that I’ll pick up the slack. I’ve shown them that I’ll make sure no one else has to do anything…for themselves or for me.

And you know what that leaves me? Exhausted and lonely.

I used to have a sign in my kitchen. “Expectations Lead To Future Resentments”. It’s true. If you expect more from people than they can give, then you will grow to resent them. But…I still always felt that expecting what I gave wasn’t expecting more than they could give.

But every person is different. Every person can/will give in different ways, in different times, in different capacities. Their effort is the best they can do and doesn’t have to match mine.

But, also…

I don’t have to save the world.

I can join an organization and just…join.

I can meet a new person and just…be a normal friend.

I can be good at my job without running the place.

I can take up a new hobby and not try to achieve new world records.

I don’t have to go Whole Hog.

I can go Half Hog.

Maybe even a Quarter Hog.

Or…just…you know…

Call me bacon.

Published by jazzhandsmom06

I'm just a girl in the world...that's all that you'll let me be.

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