An Open Letter to the Motherless Mothers. You Are Superheros.

Dear Sister,

On this day, when the world celebrates moms, I see you. And you are a superhero.

I see the pain you try to hide.

I see the war you wage as you celebrate your own motherhood, while grieving what never was.

I see the light laughs and excuses you use when people ask how you’re celebrating your mom.

But, mostly, I see the AMAZING mother you have become to your own children despite never having known one yourself. I see the patterns and legacies that you have been strong enough to break to give your children the mother you always wanted.

You are superheros.

And…I see that you are superheros who are often unrecognized and misunderstood.

Today the world celebrates mothers…and grieves with those who have lost their beloved mothers…but they do not see you.

I do.

We live in a society where mothers are always to be loved, adored and respected.

We’ve all seen and heard the words. All mothers love their children. Your mother is the best friend you’ll ever have. You’ll understand one day that everything your mother did was because she loved you.

For those that never had that, they are often told that they misunderstand their mothers. Because, seriously, ALL mothers love their children. ALL mothers do what they do FOR their children.

Except sometimes they don’t. Because…well…mothers are humans. And some humans are broken. Some humans can’t love. Some humans are selfish. Some humans have problems and mental illnesses. Even mothers.

So, some of you grew up without that mom who is being celebrated today. Some of you grieve that connection. Some of you have spent your life wondering why you weren’t enough to earn a mother’s love. Some of you spent your life trying to be “better” so maybe one day you’d be worthy.

I see you.

I am you.

And I am here to tell you…

YOU ARE WORTHY.

YOU ARE LOVED.

YOU WERE A CHILD WITH NO BLAME.

YOU ARE AMAZING AND PERFECTLY IMPERFECT AND DESERVING OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL.

So, today…from one sister to another, I tell you the one thing I hope you focus on all day while YOU are celebrated for being a mom.

You are a superhero. Why do I say that?

You learned how to be this amazing mother, without an example.

You broke the chains of the past.

You became for your children what you always needed.

You have a strength that few will understand.

But I see you.

And I know you see me, too.

So, I will not tell you not to grieve today.  That grief has been earned, but moreso…that grief forged you into the mother that your children love and lean on.

But I will tell you to celebrate yourself.

You are beautiful.

You are amazing.

You are a superhero.

Love,

Sheri