Disclaimer: My teenager said if I ever wrote about her she’d murder me in my sleep. But…this site IS called called “Jazz Hands MOM” and she also found out she gets the life insurance as long as I don’t die by her hands…so, I’ll risk it… (P.S. She just read this disclaimer and approved it. Police, you heard that!!)
Annnnyyyywayyyy…it’s been a good morning with my Bug. First, I woke up at 2 am to her music BLASTING. So, I went in her room and asked her to turn it down. <insert teenage screaming> “GETTTT OUTTTT!!! YOU COULD HAVE TEXTED ME THAT!!!!!” Ok….
Wake up at 3:30 am…(on purpose) and her music is still going. So I text her, “Please come here.” She came right away. “Bella, I have to ask you a question…” “Ok…” “Are you on drugs?” She. Lost. It. “Hahahahahahaha No!!! I mean…I kinda wish…*giggle*… Why?!?!?!” “The screaming at me to get out of your room…” “Dude you SCARED ME!!!” 😂
An hour later. “Mom, can we get breakfast?” “We can…if you go to my workout with me after…” “I am NOT exercising.” “I know…but I can’t run, so we’ll heckle people together while they run laps.” “Deal.”
*start to car*
“Bella, I’m going to the car.” “Nooooo!!! Don’t leave me alone!!!” “Ummmmm…Bug…did we forget to cut the umbilical cord??” “You’re so annoying…*opens trash can* There’s no trash bag, I can’t throw this away.” “Sooooo…I’m annoying…but you can’t throw something away because there’s not already a bag in there…You’re never moving out, are you?” “Nope.”
*get in car* *start driving*
“Mom, I’m terrified of being a minivan person. Like…I NEVER want to get married and have kids and wind up in a minivan life.” “Did I ever do that?” “No…you’re chill, but still…that’s my biggest fear…I want to be with someone and live a life of adventure…like Bonnie and Clyde.” “Or Thelma and Louise?” “Bonnie and Clyde.” “Either way you wind up dead.” *laughs* “Fair. But I don’t want kids.” “So I won’t get grandkids?” “What part of no kids…” “Here me out…find a friend a few years younger than you without a mom…tell her you’ll be her mom…then I get to be her grandma…and you guys can draw me pictures. This life you live sounds druggy, so I’m sure the pictures will be cool.” “Deal.”
So…that’s my morning sitting across from this kiddo of mine. It’s not a traditional relationship, but it’s perfect for us. ❤
Edited to Add: Bella read this and was literally shaking with laughter. I think my life is safe. Today.