There’s something I’ve never told another living soul. This seems like the place to admit it. Ready? Here goes…
I’m jealous of George Bailey.
I mean, think about it. Aren’t you?
Not for being brought to near suicide (obviously), but that he was given a chance to see what this world would look like if he hadn’t existed.
Lord, most days I would love to have that chance.
I’d love to know if I’m really the mother my daughter deserves…or if she’d have been better off with a different upbringing.
I’d like to see if I’ve brought happiness to the lives of my friends and family…or if they’ve gained anything by knowing me.
I’d give just about anything to know if I touched any lives in a way that changed their trajectory towards the positive.
As silly as it is, I’d even like to know if the relationships I’ve had have made a positive impact…or if I was just a waste of time. 🤷♀️
There are a million things I’d love to witness…to see what life would have been if I hadn’t been here…to understand His plan in putting me where He had and with whom He has.
I believe that His divine plan is greater than any plan I could devise on my own. So, I believe that I would see that there has been positive purpose to my existence.
I also know that me seeing this is not part of His plan. That’s what faith is…trusting that He has put us where we’re supposed to be when we’re supposed to be there…knowing that He will catch us when we trip, but He let us trip for a reason.
But, man…wouldn’t it be nice to not just know, but SEE that we really do matter and really do make a difference?
*Jazz Hands* Mom 