Boxes and Eggshells

I mentioned this recently, but I’m working really hard at figuring out how to share feelings that need to be shared…but also learn that some are for me to figure out alone.

Again, this isn’t a bad thing. It’s something I need to learn to grow on. That’s all.

Last night, I had an epiphany.

Boxes and eggshells, y’all.  What do I mean by that? Let me tell you. 

Realistically, we all mentally categorize items. Some use those categories wisely…some (*cough* me) don’t know how to use those categories.

So…I’m going slightly beyond categorizing, to having a mental image of what I need to do. BOXES. Pretty, pretty, blue BOXES.

• BOX 1: This is something I’m thinking/feeling that I should probably share immediately with the appropriate person. These are mostly informational items or items that need to be addressed while they’re fresh.
  • (Truly Hypothetical) Examples:
    • I just found out I have a terminal illness. I should talk to the important people.
    • A friend/whatever severely ignores a boundary. Before it’s cold, and seems unimportant to them due to timing, explain why that hurt.
• BOX 2: These are items that it’s not BAD to talk to someone about, but it can wait for an appropriate person and timing.
  • Examples:
    • I’m really struggling because XYZ happened, and I’m not handling it well alone. It would help me to process.
    • I saw my best friend’s husband with another woman (I didn’t, Gale. Let’s be clear! Lol) and now I need to talk to someone trusted so I can plan an alibi. (Actually that’s a bad idea…always keep your revenge plans to yourself…save your friends some culpability. 😆)
• BOX 3- THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BOX. This box stays in my brain with eggshells surrounding it as a warning system.
  • This is the box for the feelings, mostly from the past, that no one can help me with.
  • These are the items that when I discuss them…I have this instant feeling of eggshells under my feet as I instantly feel like I have to find the absolute right wording so that I don’t upset anyone.
  • These are the items that other people hurt because they can’t fix them/me.
  • Examples:
    • My family
    • Old friends that still hurt when I think about them.
    • Anxieties over things that aren’t mine to control. (Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be anxious…just that I can’t control them and that usually means that someone else will be frustrated/hurt if I talk about the item.)

See…pretty…easily visualized boxes. AND a built in warning system of eggshells when I get too close to opening BOX 3. Because, those eggshells have always been there…I just stomp on them thinking, “IF I JUST FIND THE RIGHT WORDS they’ll understand.”

No more stomping.

Share now.

Share later.

Watch that eggshell crack you felt as you considered talking about it…and…don’t. Lol

I feel like this is a good step. Or I’m regressing. Who the hell knows. But now I have a plan. And I can do anything with a good plan.