You know those motivational books about chicken soup for the soul? This is like that. Except not. This is MY version of Snarky-Ass-Motivation.
There are a few things I know to be true in life (really…only a few…most of life confuses the fuck out of me). Let me put this into SAT prep kind of language for you.
- All humans have moments of being toxic as fuck.
- Sheri is a human.
- Therefore, Sheri has moments of being toxic as fuck.
Seriously…don’t we all?
The one thing I will say for myself, though…one of my BEST traits…is that I am ridiculously self-aware. I will usually listen to my own little mental/emotional spiral and think, “DAMN, BITCH! Do you need to get laid or something?!?!” (No. And this is not an invitation. I’ve got a man. We coo’. It’s a joke. PUT AWAY YOUR PENISES, DUDES! Damn.)
ANYWAY.
Lately, I’ve been toxic as fuck. Mostly in my own head. But still…toxic as fuck.
Are there reasons for it? Sure. There are people who rub me the wrong way (did I mention I’m human?). There are situations that it makes me anxious to watch. And…gosh darn it…sometimes I just like to hyperfocus on that shit rather than on the dumbass shit that is happening in my life! lol
Mostly…it’s tax season…I’m an accountant…and I’m too freaking exhausted to stop my own toxic thoughts in their tracks.
So…instead…I remove myself from the people/situations that I’m hyperfocusing on. Because…guess what?
They’re not the problem.
They’re not thinking about what I’m doing 24/7. (OR ARE THEY?!?!?! Stalkers!)
They’re not purposely trying to annoy the fuck out of me. (Right? Maybe?)
They’re not making me think petty thoughts. (Ok, this part I actually am sure of.)
So…this is my toxic shit.
Toxic Waste Colored Pea Soup For the Snarky Ass Soul.
Thank you for coming to my SelfInducedSociallyIncarceraTED Talk.
/scene
*jazz hands*
*Jazz Hands* Mom 