I cried today. I don’t do that very often. I DESPISE crying. I think it was good for me this time though.
Sometimes tears are cleansing and wash away what’s blocking our vision.
What was blocking my vision, as it has many times, was how the world/certain people see me.
It’s so, so very easy to see ourselves as others make us feel.
How often do we feel that we are worthless because someone didn’t treat us as though we were valuable? How often do we feel ugly because someone didn’t see our beauty? How often do we feel unlovable because someone couldn’t find room for us in their hearts?
We hear these messages…whether they are delivered with intent or recklessly…and we internalize them. “This person sees me as this…and they obviously see me more clearly than I see myself…so that must be what/all I am.”
But that’s not how HE sees me. How does He see me?
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. ~ Song of Solomon 4:7
God doesn’t make mistakes. God created me as I am because that was who He wanted me to be. He could never see me as worthless, because He put me here with purpose. He sees me as beautiful because I look as He made me. He sees me as wise because I speak the words He inspires in me. He sees me as loveable because He loves me unconditionally and eternally.
I want to see myself through His eyes.
I want to try every day to remind myself who’s voice I should be hearing in my mind. It is not the voices that tear me down that should be on repeat. It is the voice of the one who will always lift me up.
When someone makes me doubt my worth or my purpose, I want to immediately know…”You may believe that but He doesn’t make mistakes. I have worth. I am beautiful. I am loveable. I am loved.”
And then…because I am nothing if not the picture of grace and maturity that He made me…I’ll only stick my tongue out at them on the inside…or maybe behind my hand…depends on my mood.
But I’m glad I cried today.