Hope

Today was a day of hope.

It’s been almost 6 months since I felt any real urge to be anywhere but my bed.

Last night, for the first time since Aaron passed, I started having this feeling of,

“Ok, enough is enough. Aaron would be ashamed of me for giving up on life.”

This morning, I woke up with energy…ready to get some shit done.

And I actually did.

I completely cleaned my entire room… you guys, I even dusted the ceiling and did a COMPLETE rearrangement of my furniture.

And, other than it being a Georgia summer and me being a middle-aged woman with hot flashes, I didn’t lose steam 5 minutes in and return to my hole. I stayed in that mood.

Now…cleaning isn’t exactly fun, but what is fun is that first feeling of life in a long time. I know I’m NOWHERE near the end of this grief roller-coaster, and tomorrow could be another major dip, but…

I found hope today.

And I haven’t felt that in way too long.