The List

So…therapy homework…I’m supposed to compile a list of my personality traits, good and bad.

Not excited about this.

Not because it’s uncomfortable to list what’s wrong with me. The opposite, in fact. I’m highly uncomfortable trying to quantify what’s positive about me.

Why?

Am I afraid there’s nothing good about me? Hell no. I think I’m pretty amazing.

But I have never expected that most people would agree about the parts of me that I like.

I’m kind. I always try to be kind. But sometimes I’m afraid that my kindness is considered a weakness by others, because I don’t WANT to turn it off even if it’s not reciprocated.

I’m freaking funny, y’all.  For those who’s cup of tea I am…they’ll tell you I’m freaking funny. Buuuuttt…there are plenty others who find me annoying and don’t like my brand of humor.

I’m smart. That much I know about myself. But…does that make me come off as a know it all?

I’m introspective, which I think is a highly positive trait that leads to growth. It can also be neurotic.

So…the point being…I can’t say anything nice about myself without it *feeling* self serving or like I need to acknowledge that not everyone considers that a good thing. Which is RIDICULOUS because…this is MY homework, not the homework of people who don’t like me.

And maybe that should be my number one flaw. (Trust me, I’ll list plenty. I’m not in therapy because I’m not FULLY in touch with what I need to work on. I’m in therapy because I’m quite aware of what I need to work on.)

But…number one…I can’t even be nice to myself without hearing the voices of those who wouldn’t agree…who don’t like me…and, thus, who’s opinions should not matter THAT much to me in the grand scheme of things.

The fun side of this homework, though, is that she fully supports me throwing in as many jokes (self deprecating or otherwise). As possible So…this WILL end up being a fun list…but Hella daunting. 😆